Dear Mummy,
Sorry for the late wishes. Was on my way to malaysia when your birthday came. But well, it may seem like an excuse to you and well it was true to a certain extent. I was too busy trying to clear my stuff before I leave for Malaysia.
So here it is, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! You would be 58 if you are still around. But well to me you are still around spiritually, though not physically.
Well, today I turned 23. It has been a while since I have celebrated my birthday with a cake. Today I did. As far as I can remember, the celebrations I have with cakes are those when I was still small. I still remember that every year you would buy me a cake and celebrate my birthday with my cousins. There was this year which you didn't and I feel so out of place, as if the norm has gone and birthdays are not the same anymore. I was quite bothered by that actually, having no cake to celebrate my birthday.
Years passed and I have realized that cakes doesnt really mean anything, having not celebrated birthdays with cakes for many years. Today, I felt kinda of awakard with so many people singing me a happy birthday song...which goes... ZHU (pig) ni sheng ri kuai le...hahahaha...I just feel so out of place. As much as I am awakard with the whole process, I am still very glad and touched by what my friends have done (buy me a cake, sing me a birthday song and to wish me a very happy birthday).
The only thing that came to my mind was that ===> I must have done many good things in my past life to deserve such wonderful people in my life now. I feel really blessed and glad that life has been given to me. So now, reflecting my 23 years of life, I want to thank you Mummy, for granting me life, for letting me experience life, for allowing me the freedom to choose what I want to do, and for making me realize how wonderful and fabulous to be alive!
I just came back from a Malaysia backpacking trip. A trip of enlightment, friendship, relaxation, enjoyment and fun! Somehow, I felt that I found my true self. I am able to open out myself, to face the real me, which was a great feeling. I feel that I am able to face any challenges that life is going to present me with, though uncertainty is still bound to be present. I feel that there s an enormous strength coming from deep within, so strong that I can slay a dragon!!! I will be able to accomplish what I want to do..Marching right ahead towards my goal, even it means sacrificing many things.
And deep within, I yearn for that someone who can give me support for what I want to do, having felt the warmth of being taken care of. Guess age is catching up on me, or rather loneliness has. So dear god, will you shorten my wait and let the person appear in front of me now? Haha...No matter what, I still believe, you will be with me soon.
Anyway, if time permits, I will create a travel journal of my Malaysia Backpacking Trip and tell you mummy, how great this trip has been. To show you what you have missed out, and would definitely have loved to share it with me.
Constantly on my mind,
Agnes
P.S: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you,mummy Happy birthday to you.... What gift would you like to have, mummy? I bet, you just want me to be happy. And this is a gift I am sure I am able to give it to you cos I am very happy now. Love ya!
