"Fate is something least unexpected in the most unexpected situations"
Dear mummy,
I have a feeling you have sent a group of people to prove to me that life s worth living.
It s your way of telling me that life s great, isnt it? especially so for the unexpected people you will meet unexpectedly.
Fate has its way of leading me to them, and you are the one who brought fate to me.
Many of us have been to many trips, been to many tours with tour groups.
But how many of us have come back as great friends with the friendships growing so much so that they are going out of control when they are back.
I have. And let me tell you, it s an amazing feeling. Nothing I have expected.
My feeling after my Tibet trip was that, it was quite boring ,for all we did was visited temples and more than often I am just monkey do monkey say, not really understanding most of the things I did. The things I enjoyed most was the nights when a group will come to our room and we will chat and play.
And the final realization I got was, it must be fate s way of leading them to me. What matters was not then, but the future it brought.
We do crazy stuff, mostly impromptu. Late night suppers at the last minute, visit to Night Safaris, cleaning elderly home, volunteering at tsa tsa making (buddhist offering), organising charity dinner, drinking, singing, dancing, msning and suaning etc.
Two months seems like two years. Unbelievable.
How long will the two years last? I do not know. As they said like fireworks, it s beautiful but it s short lived. Will our friendships continue to grow and bloom? Or can our efforts and common interests make it into wine which will become better with age.
Something is drawing us together v closely and I believe there s a reason for it.
No matter what, like what my friend has said, who cares what the future will bring as long as we treasure each moment we have each other now.
Live each moment to the fullest. Be yourself and embrace all.
Just like we know we are going to die one day, but we still live each day beautifully.
Trust me, it s a great feeling. The feeling of life.
So when fate comes along, hold on to it for as long as possible and let it go when it s time.
I believe in fate. Do you?
Love,
Agnes
P.S: Thanks guys for all the great wonderful memories! I am sure there s more to go. Cant wait to create more =P
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Don't ask why. Just do it!
"Don't ask why. Just do it!" by Dr Timothy Sim
Dear Mummy,
Belated Happy Birthday! Seems like I am always late in wishing you happy birthday..haha..but well it s always better to be late than never
My wish for you is that you have already ended your suffering and have reached nirvana where peace may be with you at all times. I know you already have.
Just to share a little bit of what my tutor, Dr Timothy Sim has shared with me and class the other day.
Here goes the little thought provoking story:
Dr Sim has a friend in university who somehow injured himself one day. Being a very concerned friend, Dr Sim quickly ran over to his friend's side. And the first question was : Why did you injure yourself? How did it happen? Why like this? while blood dripped profusely down from his friend's hand.
The immediate reaction from his friend was a furious roar: " Can you please stop asking why? And do sth to my hand?"
Pushing his limits, Dr Sim rebutted and asked " Why are you so furious??"
And without further elaborating, you should know what s the next reaction coming from his friend.
Haha, a funny little inspiring story which jolted me to my senses somehow. We people tend to ask too much whys, and dont do anything about the whys. Linking back to how we were brought up, Dr Sim attributed his behaviour to his upbringing and similarly to quite a number of people.
When a child falls, what the mother would usually do and say would be " Why did you fall down?? Stoopid Stoopid!" and hits the child instead of asking " Are you alright?"
This brings us to the question of whether the reason of happening is that important since that it has already happened, why don't we just do sth about it first before thinking of why.
He furthers talked about introspection and people who are in depression. For they keep introspect themselves and keep asking why which is the main reason for their depression. They lack the courage to change the things they can and the wisdom to accept those things they cant and hence they keep asking themselves why they cant do this, why are they like this etc.
Coincidentally on the day which Dr Sim shared this ancedote, I wrote a list of whys. Why cant I let go? Why am I like this...etc? It quickly brought to my mind that I may be suffering from depression haha..and that quickly reminded me not to ask too much whys and that my unhappiness all these while is related to my "whys" problem.
And so my friend, my new quote in life is " Don't ask why. Just do it"
Whenever you are feeling puzzled over sth, try not to ask too many whys, and think of ways to solve the doubt or problem. Think it will help much better which I am doing right now.
Making an effort to change my thinking and lifestyle. Towards my goal.
Love,
Agnes
Dear Mummy,
Belated Happy Birthday! Seems like I am always late in wishing you happy birthday..haha..but well it s always better to be late than never
My wish for you is that you have already ended your suffering and have reached nirvana where peace may be with you at all times. I know you already have.
Just to share a little bit of what my tutor, Dr Timothy Sim has shared with me and class the other day.
Here goes the little thought provoking story:
Dr Sim has a friend in university who somehow injured himself one day. Being a very concerned friend, Dr Sim quickly ran over to his friend's side. And the first question was : Why did you injure yourself? How did it happen? Why like this? while blood dripped profusely down from his friend's hand.
The immediate reaction from his friend was a furious roar: " Can you please stop asking why? And do sth to my hand?"
Pushing his limits, Dr Sim rebutted and asked " Why are you so furious??"
And without further elaborating, you should know what s the next reaction coming from his friend.
Haha, a funny little inspiring story which jolted me to my senses somehow. We people tend to ask too much whys, and dont do anything about the whys. Linking back to how we were brought up, Dr Sim attributed his behaviour to his upbringing and similarly to quite a number of people.
When a child falls, what the mother would usually do and say would be " Why did you fall down?? Stoopid Stoopid!" and hits the child instead of asking " Are you alright?"
This brings us to the question of whether the reason of happening is that important since that it has already happened, why don't we just do sth about it first before thinking of why.
He furthers talked about introspection and people who are in depression. For they keep introspect themselves and keep asking why which is the main reason for their depression. They lack the courage to change the things they can and the wisdom to accept those things they cant and hence they keep asking themselves why they cant do this, why are they like this etc.
Coincidentally on the day which Dr Sim shared this ancedote, I wrote a list of whys. Why cant I let go? Why am I like this...etc? It quickly brought to my mind that I may be suffering from depression haha..and that quickly reminded me not to ask too much whys and that my unhappiness all these while is related to my "whys" problem.
And so my friend, my new quote in life is " Don't ask why. Just do it"
Whenever you are feeling puzzled over sth, try not to ask too many whys, and think of ways to solve the doubt or problem. Think it will help much better which I am doing right now.
Making an effort to change my thinking and lifestyle. Towards my goal.
Love,
Agnes
Thursday, August 16, 2007
A Guest Speaker
A very good evening to all of you.
It is with my utmost pleasure to welcome you guys to the talk today.
We are very honoured to have with us here today Miss Tan from i-GAP, which means inter-generational affinity project. Or in short, I-Bridge-the Gap who will share with us her experiences volunteering with the elderly.
To elaborate a little further, i-GAP is made up of a group of committed volunteers who aims to bridge the gap between the elderly and youth by organising various activities for the elderly. For example, outings, exercises and also painting and cleaning for the elderly homes.
Miss Tan has been with this group for a period of 2 years whereby she started out as a volunteer and now a committee planning team member.
Motivated by her great interest in gerontology and disability, she is currently pursuing a graduate diploma in social work in NUS. Being a compassionate and purpose driven person, she hopes to contribute more and better to the area of gerontology.
Personally from what I know about her, she is a person who is open to suggestions, someone who is very keen to learn, someone who is more than willing to help anyone to her best abilities. A very mild tempered and patient person, you can be sure she is the best person to talk to when you are feeling upset. She will listen to whatever you have to say.
But for now, let us listen to what she has to say.
A round of an applause for Miss Tan.
__________________________________________________________________
Any yes guys, the Miss Tan is none other than me,myself and I. Miss Agnes Tan Meijing
My lecturer did this exercise in class on Monday and asked all of us to introduce ourselves from a third party point of view. You have to sell yourself like how you would sell a guest speaker to your audience. Say all the good points about the person so that the audience will feel that they have not wasted their time to come for the talk.
I had trouble with it. Instead of saying my good points, I just talked about the activities I have joined and my past history as in where I graduated from and where I worked at previously...etc etc.
She also said something about knowing your strengths so that you can build on them. It is only by knowing your strengths before you can improve on your weaknesses as well. And that all these lie in self responsibility on whether you want to improve or not. We all have a choice, it s just a matter of whether we want to live with what we have or change it. If it is the former choice, then dun complain and live with it. If it is the latter, then make the effort to change it. Nobody can change it except you. We have the power to control our own lifes, and not leave it all up to fate.
As usual practice, let me end off with a quote :
"Change those things which you can and accept those you cant. "
Friends out there, do me a favour.. Drop me a few comments on my strengths will ya? so that I can know myself better. Try asking your other friends about your strengths too and you will realize you are actually not such a bad person afterall =)
Cheers,
Agnes
It is with my utmost pleasure to welcome you guys to the talk today.
We are very honoured to have with us here today Miss Tan from i-GAP, which means inter-generational affinity project. Or in short, I-Bridge-the Gap who will share with us her experiences volunteering with the elderly.
To elaborate a little further, i-GAP is made up of a group of committed volunteers who aims to bridge the gap between the elderly and youth by organising various activities for the elderly. For example, outings, exercises and also painting and cleaning for the elderly homes.
Miss Tan has been with this group for a period of 2 years whereby she started out as a volunteer and now a committee planning team member.
Motivated by her great interest in gerontology and disability, she is currently pursuing a graduate diploma in social work in NUS. Being a compassionate and purpose driven person, she hopes to contribute more and better to the area of gerontology.
Personally from what I know about her, she is a person who is open to suggestions, someone who is very keen to learn, someone who is more than willing to help anyone to her best abilities. A very mild tempered and patient person, you can be sure she is the best person to talk to when you are feeling upset. She will listen to whatever you have to say.
But for now, let us listen to what she has to say.
A round of an applause for Miss Tan.
__________________________________________________________________
Any yes guys, the Miss Tan is none other than me,myself and I. Miss Agnes Tan Meijing
My lecturer did this exercise in class on Monday and asked all of us to introduce ourselves from a third party point of view. You have to sell yourself like how you would sell a guest speaker to your audience. Say all the good points about the person so that the audience will feel that they have not wasted their time to come for the talk.
I had trouble with it. Instead of saying my good points, I just talked about the activities I have joined and my past history as in where I graduated from and where I worked at previously...etc etc.
She also said something about knowing your strengths so that you can build on them. It is only by knowing your strengths before you can improve on your weaknesses as well. And that all these lie in self responsibility on whether you want to improve or not. We all have a choice, it s just a matter of whether we want to live with what we have or change it. If it is the former choice, then dun complain and live with it. If it is the latter, then make the effort to change it. Nobody can change it except you. We have the power to control our own lifes, and not leave it all up to fate.
As usual practice, let me end off with a quote :
"Change those things which you can and accept those you cant. "
Friends out there, do me a favour.. Drop me a few comments on my strengths will ya? so that I can know myself better. Try asking your other friends about your strengths too and you will realize you are actually not such a bad person afterall =)
Cheers,
Agnes
Sunday, August 12, 2007
After a long hiatus...
"To have eyes and fail to see..." Helen Keller
This was what Helen said when asked what could be the worst calamity to befall on any human beings. What say you?
Dear mummy,
It has been a LONG, long, LONG while since I dropped by here. Almost one year has passed and this year it is the second year since you have left.
Time does heal but never fully. A few things happened and jolted my memories of you.
Recently I have been bogged down by my own self esteem problem. Something which I am not sure whether you knew when you were still alive. It has always been a problem which I am trying to rectify and something which I have hopes of overcoming soon.
I know it s never easy to change, especially it has been me like this ever since.... I cant remember when. Reflection is an important aspect to assess whether you have changed and most important is whether you have the discipline to reflect and the discipline to change.
I have reflected and I think the main problem lies with my self discipline. I have always been lazy and you should know this better than anyone (*hiding a guilthy face*). Everytime I made a pact with myself to change, I lacked the discipline to make it happen.But I am not going to give up. And now it is the time I give myself another chance. Slowly I will. Right, mummy?
Mummy, I am back to school again studying something which I don't think you would have agreed to it. Social work. I have always wondered if you were alive, how different my life would have been. I would have found a stable job and work just like that because I would have to have that financial independence to support you and myself.
You have given me more than I have ever given to you, even after you have left for a better world. The money you have left me gave me the best opportunity to pursue what I want. This is one of the best ways which I can ever utilise the money. For the good of myself and the rest who needs it. Help yourself to help others as they said it and I hope one day I would be able to achieve it.
Quite a lot have happened during this year. So much so that I do not know where to start. Mummy, why don't you tell me what you want to know? Or maybe let me guess what you would like to know? My love life???? I can imagine a BIG yes from you hahaha...
Nope, nothing at the moment and not for the near future. Because my main priority is to find back myself during this year. It is a resolution I made and I wish to put all my energy in making it come true. Simply no distractions.
So in the meanwhile, mummy just help me keep a lookout for good candidates and keep them away from me till I am ready k? hahahaha.....Maybe give me an omen when the right one has appeared like maybe drop a stone on my head or something like that. The right one, I deeply believe, will appear when the time is right. And this I know, I will know, something which I firmly believes. Even if he does not appear in this lifetime, I have enough love from people around me to keep me blissed for the rest of my life.
Relationships are not just for the sake of companionship but the mutual love that exists and that mummy doesnt come easy. Idealistic it is, and it should never succumb to reality.
Ok, let me just give you a brief account on what have happened for this past year. I have recently been to Tibet, the holy land. Standing high up, I feel so much closer to you. Feeling that you are just looking upon me, peeking behind the clouds right there at the corner and protecting me against all possible dangers. I have gotten to know a few friends and that was I think the best gifts from the trip. How fates are interwined and how every trip brings another trip along with them.
Today, I just came back from Kukup, a fishing village in Malaysia. Truly, it is the companionship that counts. Sometimes it doesnt matter where you go, it s the people you are with. This can never be more true for this trip. So dear igapians, thanks for the wonderful memories...the fireworks are fanatistic! Mummy, did you see them?
Coming Dec, I will be going to Mynamar and all for a good cause. Finally fulfilling a dream since 4 years ago. A YEP project. Excited for it. Please give me the strength to contribute and not to be a burden.
I have been exploring Buddhism and its way of philosphopy. Interesting it is, but complicated still. To me, it is a way of living more than a religion. Religion it is called due to convenience and convention. I believe it is all in the heart and not really in the things you do, though some aid in the spiritual development. Somehow I believe, it can help me to become more focused and to be a better person so that one day I can free the 'me' in me. And you will agree to it, won't you?
It doesnt feel any much better to have goals and dreams in life. I am glad I have found a direction in life. Unsure I still may be at times, but if you never try you will never know right. And dear agnes, just for once try to shake your ego aside, forget about what people thinks, and have more confidence, will ya? I am sure you will be much better off.
I am so longwinded!!!!!! Suddenly I do not know what else to write. I always repeat what I say...so sianzx hor..hahahaha. Ok just let me end off with the quote I have started.
To have eyes and not to see.
To have ears and not to listen.
To have brain and not to think
To have heart and not to feel.
So have you been seeing, listening, thinking and feeling? Or have you forgotten what they are?
With love,
Agnes
P.S: Dear mummy, hopefully my next entry will not be another year later. Will try my best to visit you soon again. Cannot be lazy le! But most importantly it is to have the mood to write. Just hope my mood will be there.
This was what Helen said when asked what could be the worst calamity to befall on any human beings. What say you?
Dear mummy,
It has been a LONG, long, LONG while since I dropped by here. Almost one year has passed and this year it is the second year since you have left.
Time does heal but never fully. A few things happened and jolted my memories of you.
Recently I have been bogged down by my own self esteem problem. Something which I am not sure whether you knew when you were still alive. It has always been a problem which I am trying to rectify and something which I have hopes of overcoming soon.
I know it s never easy to change, especially it has been me like this ever since.... I cant remember when. Reflection is an important aspect to assess whether you have changed and most important is whether you have the discipline to reflect and the discipline to change.
I have reflected and I think the main problem lies with my self discipline. I have always been lazy and you should know this better than anyone (*hiding a guilthy face*). Everytime I made a pact with myself to change, I lacked the discipline to make it happen.But I am not going to give up. And now it is the time I give myself another chance. Slowly I will. Right, mummy?
Mummy, I am back to school again studying something which I don't think you would have agreed to it. Social work. I have always wondered if you were alive, how different my life would have been. I would have found a stable job and work just like that because I would have to have that financial independence to support you and myself.
You have given me more than I have ever given to you, even after you have left for a better world. The money you have left me gave me the best opportunity to pursue what I want. This is one of the best ways which I can ever utilise the money. For the good of myself and the rest who needs it. Help yourself to help others as they said it and I hope one day I would be able to achieve it.
Quite a lot have happened during this year. So much so that I do not know where to start. Mummy, why don't you tell me what you want to know? Or maybe let me guess what you would like to know? My love life???? I can imagine a BIG yes from you hahaha...
Nope, nothing at the moment and not for the near future. Because my main priority is to find back myself during this year. It is a resolution I made and I wish to put all my energy in making it come true. Simply no distractions.
So in the meanwhile, mummy just help me keep a lookout for good candidates and keep them away from me till I am ready k? hahahaha.....Maybe give me an omen when the right one has appeared like maybe drop a stone on my head or something like that. The right one, I deeply believe, will appear when the time is right. And this I know, I will know, something which I firmly believes. Even if he does not appear in this lifetime, I have enough love from people around me to keep me blissed for the rest of my life.
Relationships are not just for the sake of companionship but the mutual love that exists and that mummy doesnt come easy. Idealistic it is, and it should never succumb to reality.
Ok, let me just give you a brief account on what have happened for this past year. I have recently been to Tibet, the holy land. Standing high up, I feel so much closer to you. Feeling that you are just looking upon me, peeking behind the clouds right there at the corner and protecting me against all possible dangers. I have gotten to know a few friends and that was I think the best gifts from the trip. How fates are interwined and how every trip brings another trip along with them.
Today, I just came back from Kukup, a fishing village in Malaysia. Truly, it is the companionship that counts. Sometimes it doesnt matter where you go, it s the people you are with. This can never be more true for this trip. So dear igapians, thanks for the wonderful memories...the fireworks are fanatistic! Mummy, did you see them?
Coming Dec, I will be going to Mynamar and all for a good cause. Finally fulfilling a dream since 4 years ago. A YEP project. Excited for it. Please give me the strength to contribute and not to be a burden.
I have been exploring Buddhism and its way of philosphopy. Interesting it is, but complicated still. To me, it is a way of living more than a religion. Religion it is called due to convenience and convention. I believe it is all in the heart and not really in the things you do, though some aid in the spiritual development. Somehow I believe, it can help me to become more focused and to be a better person so that one day I can free the 'me' in me. And you will agree to it, won't you?
It doesnt feel any much better to have goals and dreams in life. I am glad I have found a direction in life. Unsure I still may be at times, but if you never try you will never know right. And dear agnes, just for once try to shake your ego aside, forget about what people thinks, and have more confidence, will ya? I am sure you will be much better off.
I am so longwinded!!!!!! Suddenly I do not know what else to write. I always repeat what I say...so sianzx hor..hahahaha. Ok just let me end off with the quote I have started.
To have eyes and not to see.
To have ears and not to listen.
To have brain and not to think
To have heart and not to feel.
So have you been seeing, listening, thinking and feeling? Or have you forgotten what they are?
With love,
Agnes
P.S: Dear mummy, hopefully my next entry will not be another year later. Will try my best to visit you soon again. Cannot be lazy le! But most importantly it is to have the mood to write. Just hope my mood will be there.
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